This morning, I stumbled upon an old email that I had written to my father. It brought back a flood of memories and inspired me to write this blog today.
In 2012, my life was heading in a downward spiral. Not only did I NOT feel any love or motivation for life, I also lacked love and motivation for myself.
To make a long story very brief, this diary was started during a critical time.
I had changed the trajectory of my life and decided to teach ESL abroad. This brought some much needed excitement to my very mundane, uninspired life.
Now, that I have given some context- Today, I stumbled upon an old email that I had written to my father. It spoke of my current situation at that time:
“The mortgage won’t be getting paid.
Foreclosure is the only option I have.
I chose to move to Indonesia because I wanted to commit suicide.
I chose to move and save my life…
So what if I lose my home and good credit standing.”
I had been suffering for so long. I was ignorant about so many things. I didn’t realize that we all have a purpose on Earth. We’re all here to do something bigger than ourselves.
What I am trying to say is, and I am talking to you – Person that feels worthless, person that feels hopeless, person that feels like you don’t deserve to live, person that feels like there is no reason to live and you’re just another face in the crowd, person who is bored out of his/her mind, person that’s wondering why you’re here… please let me tell you:
You are an individual. Unique. There is only one you.
Don’t give up hope. It’s always darkest before the dawn.
If you find yourself dreading waking up in the morning. If you find yourself actively participating in reckless behaviors in hopes that you don’t live to see another day-
Remember, you’re not alone. Life is hard. How do we move forward? We put one foot in front of the other. One…Two…
You have a life purpose. You may not realize it now but you do. What’s your hobby? What do you love to do? If you could, what would you do for the rest of your life and not mind doing it for free?
For example, I love to write and draw! However, instead of just writing my own thoughts down and drawing simple, pretty pictures, I expanded my love for writing and drawing to writing/illustrating Positive Character Books for children. Therefore, not only am I doing what I love, I am HELPING someone else in the process.
That’s the key. Help yourself, while in turn helping others.
Helping is the ultimate display of love. When we help others, we are showing them love!
If you’re feeling down and out, know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.