Merry Christmas!

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Today my beautiful, sweet friend Elif invited me over for some Christmas dinner.  We had dolmas, bread, pickles and yogurt.  And to drink, she prepared some Turkish tea.  Everything was wonderful and the company warmed my heart on such a day so far away from my family.

God bless you, Elif.

The Drawbacks of Being a Traveler

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As I sit here alone,

The traveler

I’m taught a valuable lesson

And mother,

Please forgive me!

As I sit here alone,

I’m thinking of you

As you prepare yourself for the funeral of your mother,

My grandmother

I won’t be there,

Everyone else will be

But I won’t

My eyes grow tired of supporting the rivers that pour from them

I have felt alone before but this time,

something feels different

I have concluded that this time,

It’s not aloneness that I feel, but desperation

I’m desperate

The traveler,

That has just learned that

Travel,

Just like anything else,

Has its costs:

Just as I have had the courage to travel to Southeast Asia alone, it’s now time for me to also have the courage to accept the utterly painful, desperation that I feel right now, during this time of grieving in the absence of family