The Drawbacks of Being a Traveler

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As I sit here alone,

The traveler

I’m taught a valuable lesson

And mother,

Please forgive me!

As I sit here alone,

I’m thinking of you

As you prepare yourself for the funeral of your mother,

My grandmother

I won’t be there,

Everyone else will be

But I won’t

My eyes grow tired of supporting the rivers that pour from them

I have felt alone before but this time,

something feels different

I have concluded that this time,

It’s not aloneness that I feel, but desperation

I’m desperate

The traveler,

That has just learned that

Travel,

Just like anything else,

Has its costs:

Just as I have had the courage to travel to Southeast Asia alone, it’s now time for me to also have the courage to accept the utterly painful, desperation that I feel right now, during this time of grieving in the absence of family

The almost unimaginable

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To watch the sunset in Indonesia is like witnessing the very essence of the Creator.

From my 19th floor apartment, I see Jakarta reverberate.

When the sun begins to set,

Miracles flood the sky.

In almost every direction, I see mountains and city-scape and clouds and palm trees and movement.

An almost unimaginable,

breath-takingly beautiful

event to witness.

And I, this humbled life-form,

get to witness it.

Leaving home to go home…

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I remember when I first started on this Adventurer Journey. I was tripping all over myself with dreams placed firmly in my hands, running towards the airport gates…

That was over a year ago and things have changed.

Indonesia is an excellent mother. She has taught me a lot about myself and her beautiful land.

*I went back to the familiar and discovered that many things were no longer familiar to me.

They say, “Home is where the heart is” and now my heart resides in many different places.

How to piece it back together again?